Kids kill naked sloth, think it is an alien.

Posted on 16 Sep 2009

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Good news - this post about a very strange creature killed by some kids in Cerro Azul, Panama, is apparently going to hit the front page at Fark tonight. Which is, make no mistake, cool to me because I’ve been a TF’er (TotalFarker) for years now. I’ve had a handful of posts I’ve written both for kicks and for money go green on Fark and it’s always a nice feeling. (Even though the comments can get really weird if there’s a controversial element in the subject of the post.) Farkers are often pretty fucking smart, observant and funny. So I had to make note of it when one guy in the Fark comments brought the sorta bad news here - the Cerro Azul cryptid really looks like a shaved sloth. See above - I rotated the Cerro Azul mystery creature just so you could more easily compare body shape. I hate being such a skeptic, but at the moment I’m thinking, man, that poor sloth. He just wanted to go full-body Brazilian, just once, and a bunch of fucking teenagers go all caveman on his ass.A weird creature has stirred up controversy among the people of Cerro Azul. Some say it could be an alien, others simply believe that is an animal. …

… I had to make note of it when one guy in the Fark comments brought the sorta bad news here – the Cerro Azul cryptid really looks like a shaved sloth. See above – I rotated the Cerro Azul mystery creature just so you could more easily compare body shape.

I hate being such a skeptic, but at the moment I’m thinking, man, that poor sloth. He just wanted to go full-body Brazilian, just once, and a bunch of fucking teenagers go all caveman on his ass.

via The Daily Huff II | tumblelog.

The claw is the giveaway.

What did I say yesterday? What did I say? Don’t  … kill … rare …. animals!

Kids, if this was a real alien it would have sucked your violent little brains out through your feet before you could swing a stick or throw a rock.  In fact, about fifty nasty angry aliens are probably going to do just that to each of you tonight.  You can’t hide from them. The aliens are coming for you. They are coming to Panama.

Sad. This naked sloth might have had a great life ahead of it once it got over whatever caused its fur to fall out.

Below is more info about this geographic location. I’ve added links so you can learn to  identify the creatures living around you.

The palms often look like something out of the pre-historic era, sometimes shrouded in fog. The flora and fauna are also unique. The variety of wildlife is truly amazing. You may see foxes, white-faced capuchin, ant-eater, sloth, squirrels, coatimundi [hog-nosed coons, snookum bears,  Brazilian aardvarks] , agouti, peccary [javelinas ] and white-tailed deer, howler monkey, red spider monkey, jaguar, olingo, two-toed sloth, ocelot, jagarundi [jaguarundi (Puma yagouaroundi)], harpy eagle and guan. In addition to the stunning natural beauty of Altos de Cerro Azul, you have access to high-speed satellite internet, Direct TV and modern electricity and telephone services. – panama

javelinas