World’s Scientists Admit They Just Don’t Like Mice

Posted on 23 Jun 2010

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Nearly 700 scientists representing 27 countries convened at the University of Zurich Monday to formally announce that their experimentation on mice has been motivated not by a desire to advance human knowledge, but out of sheer distaste for the furry little rodents.

“As a man of science, I deal with facts, and the fact is that mice are gross,” said Dr. Douglas White, chair of the Oxford biogenetics department and lifelong mouse-hater. “They’re squirmy, scurrying little vermin, and they make my skin crawl. I speak for all of my assembled colleagues when I say that the horrible little things deserve the worst we can dish out.”

According to a 500-word statement, scientists hate mice for “their beady little eyes,” “their repulsive tails,” and “the annoying little squeaking sounds they make.” …

“The truth is, mice are particularly ill-suited for our tissue study,” Gresham added. “We could construct a computer model that would yield more accurate results, but we don’t care.” …

via World’s Scientists Admit They Just Don’t Like Mice | The Onion – America’s Finest News Source.

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